THE REMAINS OF THE DAY
An important but often overlooked reason you should prepare an estate plan is also one of the most uncomfortable for many people to face, come to terms with, and discuss with others. I am referring to the disposition of your remains after your death. Let’s face it, we all die. But what do you want to happen to your body after that happens? If you have clear wishes about what you want and what you don’t want, then you should take the necessary action to put them in place with a plan.
Do you wish to be buried or cremated? Burials can get quite expensive. Cremations are certainly more common these days than they were twenty years ago primarily because they are less expensive and quicker. But could religious issues affect your desire to be cremated? Does your family know your wishes? Are those who will have final say over your remains able to accept what you wish done with your body? Do they know for example, what you would like done with your ashes if you want to be cremated; sprinkled at sea, kept in an urn or a coffee can, taken to another location, or placed in a cemetery vault? And if you desire a traditional burial, where might you want to be placed? Is there a family plot with your name already in place? Are you a northern transplant who wishes to have his remains taken back to the place of your birth or some other location? Transportation and handling of human remains varies from state to state and can be quite expensive. Do you already have a cemetery plot that others know about? Or do you have a plot that you purchased many years ago in state that you used to live in but no longer want to be buried there? What if you are a veteran and wish to be buried in a military cemetery with a military funeral? Have your made these wishes known?
And do you want a funeral service, a memorial service or simply a graveside prayer? If you decide upon a funeral have you discussed how elaborate or simple you would like it? What kind of service and prayers would you like? What about music? Are you inviting everyone or only your closest relatives? Which clergyman did you have in mind? Have you spoken with him/her? What do you want said in your obituary? Do you even want an obituary? How much information about yourself do you wish given out to the public via your obituary? Do you have a special charity or church that you would like memorials made in your memory? How about the casket? These can be quite simple and relatively inexpensive or they can be quite expensive and made to withstand years of interment underground. How much money do you want spent on these arrangements? What about embalming? Some people now prefer that their remains be placed outdoors in an approved area where they can decay and return to nature. These scenarios require that you have taken steps before death and planned so that these events transpire quickly after you die.
Do you wish to donate your organs? Are you donating your body to medical science? Are you making an anatomical gift or donating some of your remains to an organization, such as donating your eyes to the Lions Club? If you did not make an anatomical gift during your life, your next of kin can make it for you after your death. Is this what you want? If any of these are your wishes, they should be in writing and documented, and those who will have control over your remains must be informed so that the correct decisions are made in a timely manner right after your death.
Many individuals have little to no experience with the death of a close family member and often are not prepared to deal with what to do with their loved one’s remains or the multitude of decisions that must be made after death. What so often occurs is that the family does not know what their deceased loved one wanted and they often struggle with the decisions. Many funeral directors have heard those often-spoken words when the family meets at the funeral home to make the arrangements: “We never talked about it.”
As you can see, the disposition of your bodily remains can become quite complex and involve many decisions that someone must make. Let that be you for those that directly affect your remains. An estate planner can help you sort out these decisions and advise you on how to put them in place. This will save your loved ones during their time of grief the agony of dealing with what will appear to be cold, heartless decisions that must be made if you did not make them for yourself. Taking care of these important decisions now will give them the time they need to grieve without the worry of what to do and will also insure that your wishes are known and carried out the way you plan for them.
(The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is of a general nature. The information should not be construed as legal advice. If you have any questions about the subject matter of this article or related matters, you should consult with a professional advisor. Deirdre W. Edmonds previously served for twelve years as Horry County Probate Judge and is currently the owner of The Law Office of Deirdre W. Edmonds, PA, located at 1500 Highway 17 North, The Courtyard, Suite 213, Surfside Beach, SC 29575. The Law Office of Deirdre W. Edmonds, PA focuses on estate planning, probate administration, probate and trust litigation, disability planning and elder law. Contact Deirdre W. Edmonds via Telephone: (843) 232-0654; Website: www.dedmondslaw.com; and Email: dedmonds@dedmondslaw.com